


The Condescension's Bounty

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cannibalism, Character Death, Cooking, Cruelty, F/F, F/M, Gynophagia, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:43:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Condescension is cooking her guests according to an old Alternian recipe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Condescension's Bounty

For the first time in what felt like eons, the Condesce was feeling giddy.

Serving her Lord English had been tedious, demeaning, time-consuming and above all, beneath her. Conquering a planet becomes surprisingly dull after the twentieth and doing so with a backseat dictator was even worse.

Today however, would make up for a lot of the doldrums she had to put up with.

Today she was gifted a naked John Egbert and a naked Jane Crocker on her kitchen counter, courtesy of her grimbark witch.  
Both of them had been injected with a paralyzing agent. They were still very conscious but unable to so much as move their mouth in protest. Subduing the Heir of Breath would be difficult through more conventional means and it made his ecto-relative much more agreeable as well.

Lord English had deemed John unworthy of dying by his hand because he had cheated at his game. He had called John “a worthless human, not worth the energy it would take his magnificent brain to conceive a fitting punishment for”.  
The Condesce flashed a dangerous smile at the human and ran her cold, long fingers over his naked body, being particularly fascinated by his back. His shoulders, his rear, his hamstrings. He groaned in protest but remained unable to move. She could work with that.

She then turned to Jane and licked her lips menacingly. Lord English had deemed her a “worthless whale of a human bitch”. The Condesce didn’t dare to speak up but felt compelled to disagree. After all, she had groomed her from birth to be a worthy heiress and she was satisfied with the result. Jane would have made a fine successor, the end of the world and her own immortality notwithstanding.  
The Condesce ran her fingers over Jane’s body and smirked. She was certainly chubby but her breasts and her thighs looked positively delicious. Worthy of serving an empress.

The Condesce turned both of her prey on their back and had to fight the urge to take them raw. She could feel her bulge wrestling against her suit. It took a moment to remind herself that half of the fun was in the prep work.

She uncaptchalogued a tray, some vegetables and preheated the oven. For John, she would go with a classic Alternian roast. The tray was covered in a thin layer of oil and a large bed of lettuce. She decorated it artistically with garlic, onions and carrots she had cut into long, winding strings. It looked like the perfect basis for a good meal.

With a glint in her eye she turned to her humans.

“Whale, whale, whale.” she said in a dark, sultry voice. With a flick of her wrists she turned Jane and John to face her.”Me thinks I kept cha waiting long enough, didn’t I?”

There was no response from either of them. A token struggling motion, trying to move ány part of their body but failing miserably. The Condesce chuckled.

“There, there.” she shushed, wrapping her hand around John’s cock.”Ya’re a needy lil guppy ain’t cha? Flashin around, bein a pain in everyone’s stern’s.”  
The Condesce was moving her hand around him painfully slow, carefully observing. It had been so long ago since she last got off. Lord English didn’t even allow her to glance at porn but here she had a perfectly good human man. It was enticing.

When she got him fully erect she snapped a rubber band around it and bound it tight. John groaned in discomfort and tried to struggle again.

The Condesce just laughed at him and begin to truss him. She forcefully spread his legs and pushed them back as far as she could without tearing anything and tied them to his arms. His arms, in turn, she tied behind his back, making him look perfectly presentable. His ass and his erect cock were easily accessible, much to her amusement.

“Now ya look like a proper turkey boy.” The Condesce taunted the motionless John.”And ya know what every good lil turkey needs right?”

His eyes widened in panic when he saw her uncaptchalogue a bowl of stuffing. She wanted to start immediately but there was something that needed to be taken care of first.

With an idle thought and a flash of green, Jade was summoned back into the room.

“What do you want?” she growled, trying to avert her gaze from her naked ecto-brother.

“Be a dear an use your space powers for a sec.” The empress leaned against the counter and smirked.”Givin these beaches an anemone takes long as shell.”

“You are messed up.”

“Just do the thing. Dump dat shit in the sewer all effishient-like.”

Jade waved her hand, followed by a green flash. The Condesce just assumed it was done. Otherwise, she’d have to issue a punishment to her little witch.

“Anything else?” she growled, green lightning cracking around her.

“You are excused.” The Condesce said. She hadn’t finished her last syllable or she was gone. It annoyed her. If Lord English would be done playing his little game, she hoped to be given the remaining humans as well. Jade in particular, though she would be happy with Roxy or Dirk as well. Maybe see if the Beta Derse dreamers taste anything like they did in the Alpha timeline.

She turned back to John and licked her lips.

“Let’s continue now you all clean, yea?”

The Condesce began stuffing John with very little remorse. He grunted in discomfort as she began wrestling her hand inside him.  
In this timeline, he had been the one to stay with her. Though she wouldn’t have dreamed of harming him then, for the sake of Colonel Sassacre, the question always lingered. How would he taste? She had seen him grow from succulent little boy, to delectable teen, to well-build adult, to dry senior without ever raising a finger to harm him had taken a lot out of her. For the empress, showing mercy was something alien. Not acting onto a desire was unheard off but she left him alone for her husband.

This John however, was fair game.

Another hand full of stuffing disappeared inside of him and the Condesce smirked. After tonight, John would forever be a part of her.

Another hand full of stuffing disappeared inside of him.”Ya know, if we had the time I’d have stretched ya out reel good.” she whispered maliciously.”I’d have stuffed ya with entire fruits.”

She turned to Jane, who looked completely mortified and abandoned on the counter. The Condesce was as clever a predator as she was wicked and knew that the paralyzing agent probably would lose its effectiveness after she’d be done consuming John. Despite that, she wouldn’t be a threat. Occasionally, a hunt would be fun but the Condesce preferred her prey to be compliant and aware of their role as meat. Lesser species should know their place before her.

So she began putting the suggestion in Jane’s head as she continued to stuff her ecto-sibling. She knew by now that the most eager prey was the one who thought it was their own idea. With a vile grin, she began giving her little heiress the idea that being eaten by her wouldn’t be all bad.

_ This is kinda hot, actually. _

Another fistful of stuffing went inside of John. His belly slowly began to bulge, much to the satisfaction of his captor.

_ I mean, it looks kind of sexy. Being treated like that. _

The Condesce glanced to Jane for a second and smirked at her conflicted expression as she shoved the last handful into John. He groaned in pain and looked like he was about to burst but his predator had little sympathy.

_ The way she looks at him all sexy and dominant. _

She cackled as she violently shoved a large carrot up his ass to seal him off. John gasped in pain. He seemed to realize that there was no getting out of this one and began whimpering, trying in vain to offer any form of resistance.

_ I wonder how I would taste. _

Using her telekinetic power, the Condesce lifted her turkey-tied meal onto the platter. A culinary work of art, almost ready for the oven. Just about ready to be consumed raw.  
Her bulge was trashing against her suit, seeing him tied up, helpless and delicious. If she hadn’t stuffed him already, she certainly would have gone to town on him. Though less tasty, having a cumstuffed prey was exciting just the same. After all, feasting on them had nothing to do with hunger but with her own superiority and dominance.

_Would I look just as ~~glubbing~~_ tasty?

With a neat little brush, the Condesce began oiling him up.”Ya gotta look nice and golden brown on mah plate” she said with a hungry grin. After making sure she got every inch of his body, paying extra attention to his cock, she got the spices and began seasoning him. More garlic to bring out his taste, red pepper and black pepper balls for some added spice and a little rosemary because she was feeling fancy. Maybe use pineapple and ginger to garnish him, after basting him two or three times into the oven and he’d be done.

“Open wide.” The Condesce chuckled darkly as she pulled his mouth open and stuffed a bright red apple into it. To her, he was no longer her adversary or even her sort of son. She considered him nothing but meat.

_ He smells so good right now. _

Finally, the Condesce theatrically opened her oven and shoved the plate with John on it in. She looked into his desperate eyes with a vile smirk and closed the door with a little kick. She couldn’t help herself and hummed cheerfully as she set the timer.

While she waited for John to roast, the Condesce leaned on the counter and looked at her other prey. She playfully licked her lips as she could sense the war going on in the little girl’s head. She was unsure of what to think or feel about anything anymore. It was a war the Condesce gladly helped settle.

_~~_I don’t want to be cooked like that._~~_  
_I want to be cooked like that._  
_~~He looked so terrified.~~_  
_He looked so delicious._  
_~~Can I still use my life powers to save him?~~_  
_I shouldn’t use my life powers._  
_~~She’s looking at me. Is she going to eat me next?~~_  
_I hope she is going to eat me next._

“Ya don’t mind if I lose the suit do you?” The Condesce said with an innocent song in her voice as she unzipped her skintight suit, making sure her prey saw everything.”I know cookin aint seapposed ta happen bein all naked and shit but its been a long century, ya dig?”

Jane barely had enough of her strength back to hum an okay.

Freeing her bulge had been the best feeling of the day but the Condesce knew what would make it better. Using her psychic power she lifted Jane up from the counter and placed her heiress on her knees in front of her.

“I can play with mah food if I want to, ya know?” the Condesce laughed, grabbing the back of Jane’s head and guiding it to her bulge.”And if you act like a good lil gill, maybe I won’t pop ya into mah oven.”

Whether or not she was going to be compliant was irrelevant. The paralyzing agent was slowly wearing off but was still effective enough to keep Jane from struggling. Even if she’d been able to move, the taste and smell of the fishy troll were overwhelming her. Before long, the cold long fingers had grabbed the back of Jane’s head so she could fuck her mouth as rough as she pleased.

The Condesce sighed in bliss. One member of a subservient species working on her bulge and another on her plate. She missed being in power like that. Granted, she had to move Jane’s head herself to get any form of friction but the sheer thrill of her own dominance was hotter to her than any desperate blowjob.

~~_ Maybe if I make her cum, she wont eat me. _ ~~   
_ Maybe if I make her cum, she’ll share John. _   
_~~ I’m so scared. ~~ _   
_ I’m so horny. _   
_~~ I want to find Roxy. ~~ _   
_ I want to be stuffed and cooked. _   
_ ~~I need to get away!~~ _   
_ _I need to roast!_ _

__

With a satisfied grunt, the Condesce thrusted her entire bulge down Jane’s throat and began unloading a bucketload of genetic material directly into her stomach. She smirked lazily at her heiress, who with tears in her eyes and choking sounds tried to remain conscious through it all. The Condesce was proud of her.

With a ringing sound, the oven timer told the Condesce to get her bulge out of her heiress and get back to cooking.

She opened the oven to find a slowly browning John, still alive. The sudden flow of cold air hurt his skin and visibly made him flinch. The paralyzing agent was wearing off and he tried to struggle, to become incorporeal but to no avail.  
The Condesce just laughed at his attempts and began basting him. He was smelling delicious and seeing him present his cock and ass like that made her bulge stand at attention again. He would make a perfect dinner.

When the Condesce closed the oven, she turned up the heat. Even if John would survive another round, he would be too weakened to resist her. Exactly like he should be.

She called to Jane and demanded another blowjob while she waited for the timer. Jane obliged and crawled to her mistress, with her motor-functions slowly returning. It was a delightful sight. The heiress was slowly becoming a mindless servant. The Condesce continued systematically attacking her thoughts, until her only remaining desires were to serve her empress and to be meat. Exactly what was expected of a subservient species.  
The Condesce forced another bucketload of genetic material down her throat and licked her lips at the slightly bulging stomach of her pet.

The oven opened again. John was weak and barely hanging on. His skin golden brown and his smell delectable. The Condesce could barely contain herself and asked Jane to assist in decorating him with slices of pineapple, small dices of ginger and honey glaze.

John could barely moan a protest as the oven closed one last time.

The Condesce placed her tray on table and looked satisfied at the result. A perfectly roasted human, seasoned, garnished and cooked to perfection. His legs spread to present his softest meat, his body decorated with pineapple and basted with the best Alternian spices.

With barely contained, animalistic aggression she tore of a piece of his leg and began eating. It wasn’t as tender as she had hoped but the taste was unmistakably what she had longed for. She had missed the taste of humans after their extinction. She tore his flesh to pieces with her razor sharp teeth and played with it in her mouth, savoring every bite.

Jane meanwhile had taken her place underneath the table and continued servicing the empress. After swallowing three loads, get stomach was bulging but the Condesce didn’t seem to want her to quit. After all, this was among the peaks of her hedonistic achievements.

“M-mistress…” she coughed after the Condesce had granted her a fourth load to really bloat her belly. The tears were still welling up in her eyes and the fuchsia liquid dripped of her chin. She looked absolutely disgraceful. She considered it a good look for her.

“What?!” the empress growled, unaccustomed to being disturbed during her dinner. She didn’t care for whatever it was her next meal was going to say and she certainly wasn’t about to share her prey.

“Are you going to eat me too?” Jane finally asked, a terrified shiver in her voice.

“I don’t know…..” the Condesce said teasingly.”Not sure if yer meat is up too snuff, ya know?”

“It will be!” Jane blurted a little too fast. “I mean, I think.”

The troll snickered cruelly and invited her broken prey onto her table. With but a thought she commanded her to spread her legs, all the while munching on her ecto-sibling and tearing off strips of meat with her fangs.

“I’m not convinced….” She hummed.”How would you like to be prepared?”

“Please roast me like you d---“ The Condesce smacked her across the face to silence her.

“Trick question guppy.” she hissed as she grabbed her chin, looking her prey into her terrified eyes.  
“Meat doesn’t get a say in how it’s prepared. Ya just go with what I think will suit your dirty-ass human meat” She roughly Jane’s breasts and began fondling her. “And I think a spit will do just fine for you.”

“S-spit?!” Jane asked terrified.

“Ya want to be eaten don’t you?”

“Yes!” she answered, a little too eager again. It was like her lifelong fantasy was coming true. The troll was amused at how receptive she had been of the suggestion. Even with her manipul8ion there tended to be some lingering resistance. It was like there was a small part of Jane already onboard with being treated like a an edible cumdump. A fantasy of hers that had slumbered in the darkest recesses of her mind.

“Good.” the Condesce licked her chops.”Then there’s only one more thing imma need of you and I’ll get on preppin you nice and sweet after I finish yer buddy here.”

“Anything you say….”

\--gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]\--

GG: Roxy Lalonde.   
GG: Oh my, I really messed up this time.    
TG: jane!    
TG: hopy shit where the fcuk you at?!    
TG: we been worried sick!!    
GG: Look, I am in deep shit right now. Can ya pick me up?    
TG: of course!    
TG: hold on, where are you right now?!    
GG: -is now typing a message-

Her imperious Condescension cackled cruelly as she took off the tiara-top that used to belong to her heiress. With a nonchalant flick of the wrist she tossed it onto the fire, burning underneath a spitted Jane. The smell of the second human being roasted filled the room and was enough to make the Condesce hungry all over again.

She was sure her employer wouldn’t mind if she took one or two more humans to sate her appetite.

**Author's Note:**

> This is why I usually don't take requests. Shit like this'll get me put on a watch list or something.


End file.
